Saturday, March 30, 2013

It's gonna be One of Those Days!!

Nothing serious today, it's Saturday after all, perhaps I'll call them Silly Saturday's.  I'm always looking around the web for other's with similar experiences and I stumble upon this:

And I cracked up laughing...on a day that has started with pain in my right eyebrow, the side with no feeling. It's a day of smiles, maybe healing IS all my Saturdays from here on in will be silly Saturdays.

Friday, March 29, 2013

I get by with a little Help from My Friends

I can`t possibly list all the amazing things that have been generously given to me and my family over the course of 10 weeks.  What I can tell you, is that I am overwhelmed and in awe of the support that my friends and complete strangers have shown me.

You can`t help but be renewed in the human faith when something as odd as this happens.  I know that looking at a brain tumour as being an odd experience is a wacky take on a very real thing.  However, it`s odd in every sense of the word.  Let`s look at ``the odds`` according to the Brain Tumour Foundation of Canada (my resource bible) 1 in 27 Canadian will be diagnosed today and every single day with a brain tumour.  Hmmm since there are currently 34,482,779 Canadians and I`m ONE of them, just your average girl going about my business, how did the brain tumour find me?  Who in their right mind would ever think they would end with a brain tumour?  We hear all the facts about cardiovascular disease, breast and prostate  cancer, but we never hear about brain tumours.  That's were you come in, my friend,  I have a goal, a personal goal, to reach as many people as I can to share this message.  Brain Tumours are real, they suck and they are here to stay unless we spread the word about the need for research.  I'm just one person but I can reach thousand with a little help from my friends.

Here is a list of facts about brain tumours, they are shocking, scary and real but changeable.

Thursday, March 28, 2013

It's time for the Healing Machine

That's me, the healing machine!!!  Yesterday's post Life in the Fast Lane was all about the people who are helping me heal, family Dr, Neurologist, Neurosurgeon, Opthamologist, MRI/CT techs, Massage Therapist, and the list goes on.  I learned a lot yesterday at my Neurologist appointment, kind of like being back in Bio class.  We talked about myelin sheath and axons and the rate of which a nerve can heal, apparently about an inch a month.  All of this information is important, as are these specialists, but no one can top me, the broken one.  Without me and others like me, in need of repair, none of the above jobs would exist.  Its a `win win` situation for all involved.  I need you to fix me, you need me to work on, fair enough!!!!

One thing that every specialist has in common so far is they all agree on one thing...TIME...time is what the body needs to heal. I hated that word, at one point I thought if one more person tells me that it`s going to take time, I`m going to scream.  I don`t have time, I have things to do, until this week, when I finally surrendered to time. Every specialist in the world can only aid the body is doing what it does best all on it's own, heal itself, and that, takes time.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Life in the Fast Lane

If anyone would have told me that my recovery would have been this slow...wait...people did tell that it would be this slow I just didn't believe them.  Ok let me start that again...if I had of believed the people who told me that my recovery would have been this slow I think I would be in a deep depression.  I think what keeps me upbeat and chugg'n along is the fact that even though I know it's slow...I still don't believe any of you...haha seriously, true I don't and that's what keeps me going.  I still think I'm super woman, just with a wounded cape, I still think I can do everything, I just need assistance with all of it, and I still think that my life is racing along as it normally would be I've just switched lanes.

Before, all my lanes were this...get up, kids off, get to work, work work work, come home, cook super, some sort of house work thing, kid homework/or sign a paper that HAD to be in yesterday then off to something that has to do with the kids all the while, still able to find time to grocery shop, pay bills, bring in wood, mow the grass, shovel snow (we live in Nova Scotia, you could mow and shovel on the same day I swear) and maybe just MAYBE get a few hours of sleep.

This, meaning recovery, is life in the fast lane.  My body is repairing itself at a rate that most likely is unmeasurable, which is exhausting.  Life in the fast lane is seeing the eye clinic on Monday, Neurologist on Wednesday (today) family Doctor on Thursday,  Balance and Dizziness Clinic next Thursday, My daughter's Immunologist appointment the next Thursday, MRI the following Monday and finally Neurosurgeon the Monday after that.  In between all of that there are 2 cheer competitions and 7 practices, and I can't drive to any of this.  Life in the fast lane has a totally different meaning then it did 7 months ago.  Life in the fast lane is all about slowing down, asking for help and finally surrendering , something I didn't know I could do until I switched lanes.

Monday, March 25, 2013

The Eye of the Storm

The Eye Clinic was the appointment of the day,  proceed to the "green" waiting area for your 1:30 appointment.  We were taken right in which led us to finding out that  prisms were the answer or at least an aide in helping with the double vision.  Since I don't normally wear glasses, they could only fit the sunglasses in my purse with the prism lens.   I was told to go and get a pair of glasses (without any prescription) and bring them back and she would fit the lens to those. I guess I'm going shopping!!!  It is actually amazing how the prism works, allowing my vision to realign so I no longer see double.  The key is to figure out how to keep my head straight again, it's been 9 weeks with this styl'n head tilt.  What we were told today is that the damage to the nerve during surgery could take up to 6 months to heal.  She has seen it take as long as 1 year but "usually" where you end up at the 6 month mark is what you are going to have.  Ugh!!!

Next to see the to the RED waiting area..and waiting area it is...with eyes dilated, we wait, and wait and wait.   One person left in anger due to the long wait, people come in, people leave, I wait.  The "red" waiting room is starting to make me red with anger.  This is the longest I've been out for any medical appointment since my surgery and I'm exhausted.  We continue to wait, another person leaves in anger.  Finally with only three people, me being one of them, in the waiting's now 4:30 I ask, "have I been forgotten"..."oh no it's just a busy clinic day, we are double booked all week because it's a short week"  I loose it, I go all brain tumour on them..."Not my problem" I say..."this is unacceptable, I've just had brain surgery"  The response was, your there is only one person in the waiting room and he's waiting for his wife so ahhhh yeah no kidding I'm next. I was then told how lucky I was to have both appointments on the same day....believe me I think to myself there is nothing "lucky" about any of this.  I then get apologies that they didn't know I just had brain surgery blah blah blah, that's when I really go all brain tumour on them..."it's right there in my chart, she was reading the report at 1:30 while testing my eyes."  It's at that moment when I realize that the "green" section doesn't communicate with the "red" section.  Out comes the Dr and I hold nothing back, I am a very unhappy health care user at this point.  He is very calm, very apologetic and has definite empathy for my situation.  He completes all his tests and basically says the same thing as the 1:30 appointment.  However, we will see you in a couple of months to retest your eyes, to see if they can change the prisms.

Grrr I am mad, mad with a capital M, I'm hungry, I'm tired and I am for sure cranky!!!!  We leave at 5pm 3.5 hours after we started.  If maybe they prepared you for an afternoon wait.  I would have at least brought food, like the other couple did, they have obviously done this gig before.  So I continue on my rant creating a storm on anger inside of me.  As we leave and go through the cafeteria, there walking towards me is a blind man with his seeing eye dog.  I stare at him, as we walk past him he asks for someone to help him, and I immediately turn around asking him what he needed.  A lady working the cafeteria comes to his aid.  This is when I turn to TJay and say, if that is not a sign from God telling me to shut up and be grateful I don't know what is!!!
The man with his seeing eye dog is my "eye of the storm" the moment when everything goes still and calm, and he doesn't even know it.. So thank you kind soul for making me realize once again that all of this as crappy as it is, can always be worse.  That I can weather this storm, with both good days and bad.

Sunday, March 24, 2013

The wrong tomorrow

Well tomorrow has come, and although this tomorrow (meaning today) will be a very exciting day for my daughter and her cheer team.  Final day of competition always is.  It's not the tomorrow that I have been waiting for.  TOMORROW is what I can't wait for, my Eye Clinic appointment.  Yes, this is the tomorrow I'm hoping will give me some answers, the tomorrow that might be able to fix me.  The tomorrow that might have the solution to my double vision.

They say however, you should never live for tomorrow and always live for today.  That person didn't have brain surgery, where "tomorrows" are what we look forward to, because they bring change,  new healing and new medical appointments....

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

This blog could be posts all about how I felt, how I'm feeling and what I expect to feel like but rather a bit of that, mixed into wood piling and cheerleading. I know it's a wild read, stick with me....

Yesterday:  Was the day that wood for the wood stove was picked up by a large truck that we rented and brought home.  Of course because it was a week day we were unable to enlist help which left me, my 10 year old son and my better half.  When we arrived, I was not "allowed" to do anything...doo dee doo dee doo....not what a Type A Personality likes to hear or do.  Type A personalities should not get brain tumours, we don't have time for them.  Some time passed as they worked along and I pushed the wood with my foot to the back of the truck, you have to understand this is SO not me.  I AM superwoman, I could pile that entire cord with one hand tired behind my back while riding a unicycle.

So the first time I try and lift a piece (we are talking about the smaller pieces of soft wood) I'm given "the eye" and a "what do you think you are doing?"  To which my carefully planned response was " My neurosurgeon said I could get back to some normal daily activities, this is no different, in fact lighter, then a laundry basket"  This response got me the "other eye" but I was "allowed" to carry on.  To which I did, however, was tired within minutes and realized that laundry kind of washes itself, wood, not so much!!!

Today:  The biggest Cheerleading Competition starts today.  Have you ever been to a cheerleading competition?  If not, I will describe it to you from my perspective.  Cheer Comps as they are commonly referred to are like watching one of those ant kits.  You remember them from when you were a kid...double walled glass with sand in the middle.  Fascinating to watch the ants as the travel single file in a steady stream, never stopping, always moving.  Cheer Comps are just like that, hundreds of  cheerleaders traveling in packs, all dressed alike, moving very quickly, waiting to perform.  Again, fascinating to watch but my perspective is still WAY off.  Mix that with double vision and hundreds of cheerleaders turn into thousands, it's almost painful.  Wouldn't miss it for the world though, it's my daughter after all.

Tomorrow:  Day two of competition, day one of moving wood from driveway to backyard.  Three days, three more days of healing, where I still feel the same, the same as yesterday, today, and most likely tomorrow.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Brain Surgery from a "Control Freak's" point of view

Ok so honestly I don't know what 11 hours were like because I was asleep, or general anesthesia, which according to Wikipedia "is a medically induced coma" ..YUK... I like the "asleep" term WAY better.

Before brain surgery began, it was like any other surgery I've been through, they chat with you about how long the surgery is going to be, mine 4 to 5 hours we were told (hmmmm we will talk about that in a bit).  You will be in recovery after you wake up, this time an ICU, once ok to do so a regular room and then home.  That all sounds like what we had discussed in my pre-op appointment so I'm all good.

After being delayed due to an emergency that came in that night (very understandable) then delayed again because there wasn't a bed for me, we finally got under way around 10:20.  Off they scoot me to the OR rooms, I'm shaking as my nerves kick in, Holy Crap I'm about to have brain surgery...."WAIT"!!! is what part of my brain is saying the other part is praying to God and his Angels to keep me safe.  We wheel into the OR room, way smaller then what I thought it would be.  I pictured a scene from Grays Anatomy, nope a tiny room with WAY to many people whirling about.  OMG this is real, people are poking me and a wonderful nurse lets me know that they will be doing things to me for about an hour and I think...dear Lord I can't watch all these people for an hour.  Then my anesthesiologist says "we're going give you some rum and coke you'll feel good" haha...and with that joke...I was out.

I wake up and my first thoughts were this "I woke up, oh thank you God, I woke up" Some memories are clear and other are blurred but I remember that I was on my side and I was NOT happy about that.  I listened to Nurses chat among themselves about cases still being in the O.R. and how it was so late. I have no clue what time it is and I finally see TJay my amazing partner and Heather a dear friend.  I am grateful, sooooo grateful I can see them, hear them, and I know who they are.  My brain is working.  I ask what time it is and am confused by the answer because it's around the same time I went in.  I know my surgery has happened, my head hurts, there is a bandage wrap around it...I don't understand but the drugs keep me not really caring too much.

A restless night leads to a restless few days. After coming down off of all the pain meds I realize that how I saw my brain surgery going is not the way it went see I'm a control freak.  There, I've admitted it.  I pictured surgery, then having a cup of tea, then sitting up and hanging out for a few days, back to work in 4 to 6 weeks...yup that's my version of how brain surgery goes down....I'm sure I was a brain surgeon in a past life that's how I know all this stuff.

I find out that my surgery was 10 hours not 4 to 5 (well that explains the time confusion in recovery)..I can't feel the right side of my head, face or teeth.  Everything is REALLLLLLLY loud, whispering got on my nerves.  My head hurt, seriously my head hurt and I didn't expect that, I know crazy eh, why did I not expect my head to hurt?  Anyway, bandage comes off and I feel my head and there are stitches not staples.  I work at this hospital and every time I go into a patient's room who has staples I think of that movie Hannibal Lecter and they freak me out.  So I'm thankful for the stitches but it's not until I get home that I find out there are a whack of them, why did they have to make such a big cut in my head?  I guess when they drill a permanent hole (craniectomy) in your head they need to make a big cut to make a little hole.  The great news is they did an amazing hair cut, only shaving above my ear to the base of my skull, my longer hair covering the evidence.

Once home, reality really sinks in, getting up the stairs, not an easy task, I can't figure out how to do the most basic things, this just got real.  I spend the next couple of weeks being over joyed with the smallest accomplishments and frustrated that I'm not healed, working and driving again.  I mean come on it's been three weeks shouldn't I be better by now?  Now almost 10 weeks post op I am starting to slowly feel like me again.  Monday is the eye clinic to see what they can do about the double vision, then another appointment and another and another.  I've become a user...a medical system user.  OMG

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Trouble Maker 101

Brain tumours are kinda like 2 year olds, as much as you want them to settle down they just don't listen sometimes.  Now recovery from my brain surgery is certainly in it's infancy stage so it's WAY to early to tell if my tumour is being a trouble maker, other then Honeycomb (Mr. inoperable) seems to want to hang out with me for the rest of my life. That in itself is a whole other blog as we all know there is no 2 year old who is willing to "just hang out"  However, it leads me to those who have Trouble Makers.  Those are the people who had their surgery, maybe had to do Chemo or Radiation. The people who were told their tumour was benign just to have it grow back malignant. The people who thought that maybe, just maybe, they could put this behind them or at least stash it in a junk drawer.

My heart aches for these people as the longer I'm hanging out in the brain tumour world the more and more you hear of these people and their Trouble Maker stories.  The amazing thing about anyone who is going through something as traumatic as this, these are the most grateful, gracious people.  At least that has been my experience so far.  Now I'm sure everyone has their "this sucks" kind of day, I know I have had more then my fair share.  However, a level of acceptance comes along with it, at least that's what I've read in the Trouble Maker 101 Handbook.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

10 Awesome things about having a brain tumor

I know what you're thinking...what in the heck could be awesome about having a brain tumor...well here's what I think:

1. I know that my better half T Jay is my life long partner.  Now it really didn't take a brain tumor to bring that out but when you go through 7 month of hell and you have only been together 8, chances are good he's sticking around.  I couldn't love someone more, I am blessed.

2.  Speaking of become just that, blessed.  I have the most amazing friends in the world.  I have created an unbreakable chain and bond with people who have become my family...brain tumors bring out the best in people.

3. I got to meet a's like meeting an astronaut..well kind of, but not really.  Actually Neurosurgeons are at the top of the hospital food chain so to speak and I have the best one.  (I actually work at the hospital that I had my surgery at so I've met a Neurosurgeon or two in my time, but I've never had one inside my head it counts)

4.  I have the best excuse for all the stupid things I do.  "Oh I put the wrong pin number in...that's because I have a brain tumor" (I use that one a lot actually)...I mispronounce a word or used it completely wrong in a's because I have a brain tumor.  I ran into a wall, yup it's because I have a brain tumor...see how this works for me.  I no longer have to use the "Well it's because I'm blond"'n on to bigger and better excuses!!!!!

5.  I have a team of Doctors with all kinds of different specialties working to make me better.  How cool is that?

6.  I live in Canada, where my taxes and my fellow Canadian taxes paid for my surgery and subsequent Doctors appointments.  We have each other's backs in this Country and that really IS awesome.

7.  I can't feel the right side my head of face (more from the brain surgery then the brain tumor itself but it still counts, cause it's my blog and I say so......anyway I've bumped my head twice now, actually bumped in the wrong word...smacked really, and I didn't feel it, that's awesome in a weird way.

8.   I have a lovely collection of wine in my wine rack, can't drink it due to the meds, so it looks pretty in my kitchen.

9.  We get to participate in our first Brain Tumour Foundation of Canada Spring Sprint  as a family.  Love raising money for good causes, and this is one of them...27 Canadians are diagnosed EVERY DAY with a brain tumor, that's more then one an hour...think about it...crazy eh?  So of course it would only be fitting to let you link to my fundraising page here ..Recovery Roadsters, how awesome are we!!!

10.  The most awesome of children have learned that even Moms break sometimes.  That it's ok to see someone you love unwell, and as hard as that has been it's life.  The lesson is to fight and fight hard, stay strong and positive, and always be yourself.  If it's a bad day, it's ok to say that, cause the good days need to be cherished.

Monday, March 18, 2013

Can you really feel non tumorish

Today started as any other school day...out the door they go, and I look around, where did all this mess come from?  So I start.  It's best to start in a corner and work my way out I think to myself.  I find a small part of the kitchen that had been lost for some time and I am over joyed with my accomplishment, so I push on. For a part of the morning I am almost feeling non tumorish (I know not a word)....I start laundry and dusting as my better half fixes the pipe in the basement that decided to spring a leak.  (Don't worry there is a blog page coming called "This Crappy House")  The morning seems to be going ok...until I put away some clothes and half the dresser is missing, at least visually...OMG a migraine, but not any migraine but the ones I had before I had my brain surgery.  My non tumorish day is over, reality sinks in...I've overdone it, crap!!!

Now I sit under a blanket with the wood stove going on the surprisingly cold sunny evening, is it bed time yet?

Sunday, March 17, 2013

The Inpatient Patient

Today's a day to celebrate...Irish from all over come together and drink green beer...actually it's mostly the non Irish that come together and drink green beer...anyhoooo...I won't be drinking green or any beer for that matter cause Honeycomb still likes his meds...Yes I went there, speaking about my inoperable part of my brain tumor as a named object.  And it is, as is Bubblegum, we are just not sure how much of Bubblegum is left...Which brings me to the Inpatient Patient part...I am SOOOOO done waiting for things, waiting to see the eye clinic, waiting to see my Neurologist so I can get off of some of these drugs hopefully, waiting for my MRI...waiting, waiting WAITING....I guess before, I was waiting to have the there has been a lot of waiting since June 2012 when my symptoms first started.  I think one might be able to understand the frustration I'm having.

Brain tumors are funny things, people can't see them, so they don't understand what's wrong with you.  If I had a broken leg or arm it would make sense to people, but because it's in my head it's like the invisible illness.  I guess that's what people who suffer from things like MS or any other "inside" the body illness feels like.  Always having to explain, cause I'm one of those people too, who doesn't understand something that is not happening to me .I try and I certainly have empathy but we can't really get it.  Well this brain tumor and all it's odd side effects are very real and are driving me crazy...which leads me back to the inpatient patient.

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Let's step back in time

An original journal entry from Dec 5th

A blog seems like a logical place to tell my story...I wonder just how far I should go back????  hmmmm, I guess before the brain tumor diagnosis.  Well the "Coles Notes" would be as follows:  Halifax chick, originally from Quebec, messed up family like most people...been a single mom since 2006 and have done a damn fine job in molding and creating two amazing kids.  Work hard, play little, and have the most amazing circle of friends anyone could ever ask for....and Thank God for that because my life changed on Oct 3rd 2012, that's when my phone rang at work to tell me that my MRI the day before results showed I had meningioma.
Things moved really fast, MRI on a Tuesday, results on a Wednesday and a phone call on the Friday telling me that I had an appt with a neuro surgeon the following Tuesday.  Wow my head is spinning trying to take it all in.  During this time, I'm still working somehow getting through the stress with humor...suddenly I have an excuse for all the silly blonde things I do...and all my co-workers welcome the humor and joke along...a coping mechanism for them as well, I'm sure.
So...Tuesday rolls around and my partner T Jay who is my rock to say the least comes with me as I am armed with a million questions.  How long will I be in the hospital, how long is the surgery, do I have to have to get in the horrible MRI tubes ever again, will I get off the Gabba meds?  Dr Walling is called back into we wait in the office.  Dr Lwu finally shows up, who is actually from BC, helping out our hospital here in Halifax, NS.  She has now taken over my case, and a lovely Dr she is.  Fantastic bed side manner and starts to explain things to me and then shows me the MRI image...what the hell is that is all I can think as I stare at the screen's a huge white my head.  And I'm thinking...that can't be life size,  seriously, I know I have a little pea head but that head looks tiny and that tumor looks huge!!!!!  Then all I remember is blah blah blah blah as T Jay asked all my questions and Dr Lwu looked directly at me and answered them...
Several days later I head to my family messing around I want you to read to me the MRI report...and he does, it states:  "A large mass arising from the region of the Meckel's cave into the posterior fossa causing compression of the brain stem.  This is draped over the sphenoid wing and measures 2.5 X 2.4 X 2.1 in the AP, transverse, and craniocaudal dimensions respectively"....humph....WOW this thing is round, three dimensional?  Looked so flat on the screen, never occurred to me it was round....well now that changes everything, at least in my thinking...
Phone rings I have Pre OP on Oct 31st but no surgery date as of yet...ok well we are one step closer I'm thinking...WOW the phone rings again on Nov 2...your surgery is booked for Nov 9th be there at 5:30 am.  Ok this is becoming real...really fast...I have one week to organize everything, I called my lawyer and updated my will, life insurance polices are all out and organized...I have an overwhelming feeling that this must all be taken care I do.
Nov 9th is here and I arrive at hospital with my wonderful partner T Jay and my dear friends Heather and Dawn are there to see me off to the OR for 7:30.  We laugh and joke to pass the time, using my brain tumor as a source of entertainment, it is the only way any of us are coping.  In comes the Anesthesiologist...yup this is what we are going to do, a line in your neck (YUK)  and in your wrist... and then his phone rings...he's got to go we need your OR room someone has come in with a head full of blood.  We'll be back.....ummm ok ....and so we wait.  My awesome nurse Jean helps us pass the time as I grow increasingly aware that I have not had a cup of tea.  I know really...should I be thinking about tea?  Welll...I like my tea.  In Jean comes...horay they are finishing up with that case and will have a little break and then it's my turn.  Yipeeee in a weird kinda way.  I'm told by my darling partner T Jay that I should close my eyes that my yattering was starting to hurt his ears and with that laughter it was like someone granted me permission to sleep and I did!!!...for 15 hard minutes I slept to be woken up by Dr Lwu....I'm sorry we have to cancel you, another EMG case just came in, we have to rebook you, I'm really sorry and with that she leaves.  ummm ok and we all wonder what the hell just happened.
I spend that weekend in a puddle of tears...and start to realize that this fight is bigger then funny little tumor in my head is no longer funny....I can't get through this with humor...I can't even put on my big girl panties and pull up my socks...I have now succumb to the reality, I HAVE A BRAIN TUMOR and this one sucks!!!!
Off to my family Dr who prescribes me some anti anxiety meds to take along with my gabba...I'm a vitamin girl...not a handful of prescription crap, but I take it.  So I walk around like a zombie but start to sleep which is something I haven't had to pleasure of doing in some time.  My Dr puts me off of work due to stress...and I wait...and I wait, and I call Dr Lwu's secretary...who keeps saying, we are not sure maybe next week...and we wait and wait and I take more and more drugs...we are now up to Monday...Dec 3rd..... Man this is frustratingCollapse this post

A Pain in the STUPID head

So today is the day I promised myself I would try and figure out my new Canon PowerShot SD 4000 IS.  Not that its overly fancy but I want to have a good grasp on in before our trip.  It seems since my brain surgery...well even before, my processing time on things is a little messed up.  So I'm going to give myself lots of time to figure this one out.

I woke up today with my skull hurting again, right at the top of the hole in my head.  It sucks having a hole in your head, it also sucks having brain surgery.  Neither of which I ever thought I would ever say or write about.  Remember the saying "I want that like I want a hole in my head" well that totally makes sense.....  stupid hole!!!!

I hate MRIs but I'm kind of excited to see how much of my brain tumor they were able to remove...sick eh? I also have some Clonazapam to help me chill out during the hour long banging and beeping that MRI tubes are known for....stupid MRI tube!!!!

On a much happier brighter note we are off shopping tonight maybe Walmart and Sobeys to pick up the last few things I need to make my life easier for back to school on Monday.  We made it through another March Break...strange thing is I'm never home during March Break as I can't get the time off from work ever and here I am off...and can't do anything.

 I'm really hoping the eye clinic can fix my eye site so I can drive so SO frustrating to look at my little car and not be able to drive it...actually it's more frustrating to have to tilt my head to see things properly...double vision sucks...stupid double vision!!!!!

Ok that's enough stupid for one day...

Friday, March 15, 2013

Why oh Why do cells mutate?  hmmmmm million dollar question, and since I'm not a scientist I will have to give my mommy opinion, I should have eaten those vegetables I guess.  A call from the gynecologist office today is never a good thing when you were just there.  So mutating cells in my brain and my cervix,  can you ask for a "do over" at 41 years old?....No?  Geesh, well then, I will just have to deal with this too.  My OBGYN said last week, "now don't forget to get your mammogram done too, every year at your age"  YOUR AGE?  seriously?  Now don't get me wrong I am all for mammograms I've know people who have been diagnosed with breast cancer before the age of 40.  But I'm starting to freak out a bit on the cell mutation and think maybe I want to avoid the boob squishing machine simply because I afraid that they too are jumping on the cell mutation train.

So what better to do on a snowy day in Nova Scotia that involved WAY to much thinking? ... Eat soup, because a glass of wine would make sense and would be great but still too many meds from Bubblegum and soup it is!!!!

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Bubblegum and Honeycomb you ask?  That's the name I gave to my brain tumor.  It made sense when you saw the MRI...stay tuned I want a picture of that and I will show will be clear as glass when you see it. I even referred to it by that name to my neurosurgeons, oddly enough they seemed respectful of that.

I have posts of my journey up to my surgery date, but man, when I look back on them I sure wasn't feeling well and was a wee bit cranky...of course nothing like I am now 9 weeks post op.  I'm sure I must be a real peach to live with. (eye roll)

Since this is day one of blogging I'm not going to write too much as I am one of those people who gets it just right and BAM the wheels fall off, I guess in computer terms that's "where in the hell did it go" so for now me and my brain tumor...AKA bubblegum and honeycomb are going to figure this site out.