It's The Natural Kind of Disapointment

Ok I realize it's been a while since I've posted anything.  I know when people start to send me Facebook messages or actually use the telephone to call, it's time to write.  I was very excited in my last post to be seeing a Neurologist and a Naturopath Dr, and that excitement is still there, things have just changed course.

My medications, my Neurologist has a theory about the meds I was on for two years and thinks it's best to take me off of them over a course of 6 weeks and put me on a new drug.  My body is not happy right now and has basically caused me to go into hiding. My vision is off, my balance is off, migraines have returned, my trigeminal neuralgia is back in it's original electrifying form.  I'm sleeping all the time and I swear my head has changed shape.  All this being said,  my well thought out natural approach to brain tumour eviction (turmeric) has been put on hold due to the med change.  We can't introduce too many things at one time.  I get that, and agree, it's just another waiting game.

So I haven't fallen off the face of the earth, I'm just trying to keep my feet planted and my head clear as I had no idea that changing medications could have that much affect on a person.  I'm truly trying to just keep it together.  At the end of the day, I still have a brain tumour, there are days when that statement is harder on the head then others.

Might Is Mighty Fine

Well I finally have a Neurologist, he seemed as shocked as we were that no one other then my Family Doctor was really taking care of me.  "Your neurosurgeon?" "Nope she left right after my surgery for the USA"  I said.  Then I think I made some sort of comment about being forgotten.  He asked all the questions he needed to know, about radiation, who's my radiation oncologist, chief complaints, meds etc.  Then did the typical neurological medical exam (which I think I passed but I never did get my "grade")  Lots of Q & A led us to a switch up in my medication.  There will be a slow decrease of the one I'm on and a increase in the new one.  There was a lot of talk about how my issues were vascular related, hence, my inability to do anything that forces blood to my head without it going to explode.  That pretty much covers anything from lifting a bag of groceries to crying.  I explained to him how hard it is to go from someone who went to the gym to a softy.  He said with a smile, "the great thing about this new medication, it might help with that."  he asked if we owned a tread mill and after hearing yes I was am to hop on and get a marker as to what I can do now before my head pops.  Then we can see if there is any improvement with the new meds.  I can feel my excitement starting to build, one drug to help with most of my brain tumour symptoms.  Ohhh it's a great day.  Back in three months in the plan of action and I leave the office feeling excited.  Someone on the traditional medicine side, who understands brains, how they work, how they don't work when you grow a brain tumour in there, is actually on my side.

T Jay being the voice of reason, as he always is, said don't get too excited, he said it might work.  And once again TJay is right (insert, muffled under my breath words here) :)  This is why I bring TJay along with me to all my medical appointments.  First of all, unless I recorded the entire visit I wouldn't remember anything the Doctor said by the time I got home.  It also allows us both to be involved in this very personal journey that at the end of the day affects us both.  Plus TJay can see my reactions to Doctors and knows if he is going to have to build me up or bring me back to reality with repeating sensitive words like "might."  We both agree however that "might" in this case is a very powerful word.  I have been living for 17 months post opp with my radiation oncologist using words like "I have no idea why you haven't recovered from surgery" to " we might be able to help some of your symptoms with simply changing up your meds"  I'll take it.  The reality is, the fight against the brain tumour is not going to change, however, if a simple med change "might" give me back some of my life, that's mighty fine to me.